Absorbing Others Problems

Day 018 Week 03 Q1 Thursday, January 18, 2024

Sometimes part of your responsibility is making a lot of other people feel good. And I have other people may have a lot of problems that are not yours. But if you were going to be supportive of others in your life, you may find yourself sitting in the therapeutic manner, even if you’re not a therapist.

This can be very emotionally exhausting, even though you haven’t actually done anything tangible. You have not dug a ditch or lifted weights, closed a deal, or hired or fired anyone, or invented anything, or entered into a new market, or invented a new process.

But sometimes all a person needs, is to be heard and not judged not offered any solutions whatsoever. This can be very hard work, this absorbing of others problems. It does not solve the problems. It is not supposed to. You are simply helping people close to you, shoulder whatever they’re facing.

They will solve their problems. You are just a support person, but that can make a very big difference. I’m making a very big difference can take a lot of work even if it is not the type of work you’re used to doing. Perhaps this is why therapists are paid so much money. But not everyone needs therapy and not everyone who needs therapy can afford it. But part of being a friend is recognizing, when just listening is therapeutic. And that means listening without judgment.

The flipside of this is, permitting others to absorb your problems. Not to solve your problems. Not to suggest to you how you can solve your problems either. Simply being supportive goes a long way so be sure and allow others to support you as well because it can’t only be in one direction.. It cannot be a symmetric. It has to be symmetric for the maximum benefit to occur over the maximum period of time.

It is best to be well rested and centered before entering into such a support role. And there’s also necessary after providing support to gain some recovery by yourself, by taking the time to heal and process what you have heard.  This is why some people go on vacations and why other people get calibrated in the morning and why others take naps in the afternoon. In fact, there’s no reason why you can’t do all three. Especially if you are absorbing many others problems.

Try to remember that absorbing others problems is labor-intensive and can wear are you out. And that, therefore, recovery time is essential. This is important work, and in general people will feel better even if all you’re doing is listening. Today’s social media world seems to be locked into transmit mood. We’re very little listening is actually occurring.  You can make a difference I just showing up supportively.