Blame Yourself?

DD Day 057 Week 08 Q1 Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Have you ever noticed the people you get angry with or sometimes exhibit the exact same behavior that, when you find it in yourself, is most distressing? For example, I agree with people when they are disorganized, except that I, too, can be disorganized, and I find it very upsetting. 

I also get upset with people when they have become so absorbed by what they are doing that they have completely lost track of time; another behavior I myself exhibit and have a hard time placing blame about because this is when I am in a state of flow and functioning at the highest level and getting the most done.

For a third behavior that aggravates me, I find that some people consume all available spaces, especially desktop work areas with a large number of projects. And that there can be half a dozen unfinished projects strewn all over the place, leaving no blank place to fill up with yet another project.

All three of these behaviors, which I find so upsetting in others, are the precise behaviors that I also find so upsetting in myself. I’ve come to realize that I am less upset with other people‚Äôs flaws that do not resemble my own. Therefore, I have come to first take a hard look at myself before I blame others for the behaviors, which are trigger points because I, too, exhibit them.

And if others were unaccepting of these behaviors, as I am, they probably would not want to put up with me either. These are the things that are the most upsetting, the ones that you yourself exhibit, and then get upset when other people perform similarly. That is when I realized I had better blame myself instead of them and work harder to address issues in myself.

Also, if I take a closer look at all three of these behaviors, they have a flip side. Sometimes, being disorganized provides more degrees of freedom in my life and allows my creativity to express itself more fully. Getting fully into a flow and in the present moment to the exclusion of upcoming appointments, is also an indicator of the hyper-focus necessary to do a deep dive in order to make breakthroughs.

Furthermore, having enough space to spread out and begin new projects it’s not a luxury. It is a necessity for creative people to be who they are in the world.

Hence the dilemma. The very behaviors that you don’t want to accept, others, which you have to accept, and yourself because they are part of who you are are very annoying, but they’re also very necessary.

Keep this in mind before you get too aggressive with other people about their annoying behaviors, which you also exhibit, as it is most likely for the same reason, and they have a flip side.

Blame yourself before you blame others.