Personal Harvesting

Day 073 Week 11 Q1 Thursday, March 14, 2024

There are an infinite number of different things that can be harvested at any point in time. Is this the same thing as harvesting infinity? Does it matter how many things you harvest, create, or discover? Not at all. It is the harvesting that counts. Does it matter to a farmer how large the harvest is? Well, yes, it does, but it is not very predictable as there is such a thing as weather, which is also not predictable.

Do companies try to predict how many of something they make, how many they sell, and how many need to be fixed or returned? I am sure this matters to bean counters, and I am equally sure that I am not a bean counter, nor is it very likely that many other creative outliers are doing it to measure the results. I am also fairly sure that not too many bean counters are reading any words I have written, and if one slipped through, then I have probably just lost them, too. And I do not mind, for it is not my goal to be politically correct or inclusive. 

In fact, I do not have very much to say to the world that is obsessed with quantity, not quality or any performance indicators at all. That is the world that is trying to minimize risk, which is only possible by never taking any chances, and that is not the world I live in. I am not even interested in learning to play a sequence of notes over and over until they come out effortlessly, for then I would not be searching for them, and for me, the act of searching is more exciting than the act of finding. This is why I improvise and why most people do not, even though they, too, are improvising most of the time because the world of reality is not knowable.

Yes, there are very many repetitive jobs, and sometimes I wish I could do them, but unfortunately or fortunately, I am mostly interested in searching. The very act of searching is the only thing that makes me pay attention. I fall asleep when I am at concerts where everything is already known. This is not magical for me even if technically the musicians are better and the performance is more perfect. 

I appreciate that level of dedication and the magic of the moment, even if it is fleeting.  Appreciating and wanting a lot of it is not the same thing. What I want a lot of is harvesting infinity by dealing with the unknown and seeing what comes out. I am not interested in substituting erudition for doing and being. Most of the time, I am not interested in being in the audience with my hands politely folded in my lap.

I guess this is very selfish, but I am not interested in situations where it does not matter if I am there or not. It is foolish to think that I matter at all in the larger scheme of things, but I do need to matter to myself, and doing what everyone else can do is not emotionally relevant to me.

Spending money and time to sit still and observe is not a turn-on to me at all. This is not harvesting infinity for me.